According to - https://www.findapsychologist.org/parasocial-relationships-the-nature-of-celebrity-fascinations
Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence.
Our persona is out there moving about in the world. Interacting, mostly reacting to what’s going on. We’re the celebrity in our own lives; the center of our attention. And, we’re oblivious that our awareness is right there with us watching everything. Maybe it’s more accurate to say our awareness is available to us the whole time, but we’re running on auto-pilot and forget. Have you ever driven home from work and really can’t remember anything about the drive? You simply ran on muscle memory, sense consciousness, and luck.
So much of what our senses take in is filtered and formatted before we even become aware. It makes sense. There’s simply too much information coming in from the environment to take it all in at the same level of attention. Your mind has the job of sorting and prioritizing all the information constantly streaming in and it’s first priority is keeping you alive. After that priorities can shift in the moment. Hungry? Eat. Afterwards you realize you ate half a bag of chips. Your mind looks for safety and ease by default.
It seems funny that when you step into the role of the observer, settling into awareness, you at first create a separate you that’s the observer, and the you that’s being observed. Like a parasocial relationship “watching-you” is aware of, emotionally invested in, and concerned for the “watched-you”. All the while, 99% of the time the “watched-you” has no idea anyone is watching or that there’s even the possibility that the observer exists.
Sitting with your awareness open means to accept whatever comes into your awareness. The filters are removed and everything is free to pass through but the tap doesn’t necessarily have to be fully open. The mind is doing a lot of work before it lifts something into a person’s awareness. It’s taking in information from the other senses and processing it through the filing cabinets of experiences to try and give this new information some context.
When we sit, rather than try to bring everything into our awareness, we can open our awareness to allow everything in.
The first response is labeling something as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. From there is the measure of degrees. How pleasant or unpleasant is this? Do I need to respond quickly? This is where that file cabinet gets opened and name and form are applied. All this happens incredibly fast. Think of how quickly you pull your hand away when you touch something hot. Your touch sense (and sense of temperature which may be a separate sense) registers the danger and responds before your awareness even knows something has happened. It’s even a noticeable gap sometimes.
When we sit with open awareness, we can try to step into that spot between where our hand pulls away and our mind creates context. In that spot you can start to curate the context that’s applied to the event. Your mind will want to assign name and form but this is your opportunity to intervene in needed. It’s your chance to take more skillful actions; to make more wholesome choices. This is the moment where one of the links in the chain of dependent origination can be broken.
This is also the spot where that separation between the observer and the observed starts to dissolve. You realize that you’re the one responding to the environment and it’s been you all along but now you’re aware of it. The dichotomy is unified and you realize it was never actually separate to begin with.
This is being one, with everything.
The Backstory
The title of this drawing is "The Five Remembrances". It was originally posted on October 3, 2021. To the side is the text of the original post complete with my hashtag prowess on full display. We were still in the pandemic. Things had been improving over the summer but new variants were popping up. I forget if it was Delta or Omicron that was the dominant strain at this point. Masks were still required in most places. I don't recall if my sangha had started meeting in person again. We met for about a year with masks being required. So we may have been back to in person sits by this time. If so it was one of the few places I went, especially if there was going to be a crowd.
When we first resumed in person meetings we would have 15 to 20 some nights. There was such a hunger for community.
As I was writing this blog post I thought this drawing did a good job of illustrating the concept I wanted to get across. In doing so, I've given it a different title and context. Which, I suppose, if you read the post above, you'll agree is only fitting.
The original post
“The 5 Remembrances”
I’ve been taking a little longer with these cartoons lately. Partly so that I’m not as rigid as I had been in doing this. That was getting tiring and I have more than one lazy bone in my body. I like slowing down and giving more attention to the details. Also, I’ve wanted to savor the *doing* of them for longer. I want to sit with the theme and experience it a little deeper.
Slow down the rush and be in the present moment more completely. One method used is meditating on your own physical nature, that you will grow old, get sick, and die. Even meditating in charnel grounds has been recommended. I mean yeah, it’s kinduva buzzkill, but it’s also a great wakeup call that every moment is precious. The best way to squeeze the most out of life is to never forget that it’s fleeting. Live in the NOW. Be PRESENT. Remember you will die one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe in 50 years and make the most out of every moment you have. Occasionally set your awareness on the fact of your physical nature and use that to ignite the spark of realization of the beauty of life. In fact it’s the fleeting nature of our own lives that makes every moment special. Best not to lose sight of that.
The Five Remembrances
1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
2. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health.
3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
The whole gang is in this one!
#treystiks #maggie #mrSkeleton #me #basicallycartoons #bodhisattvavows #metta #lovingkindness #process #peace #love #life #pencils #weareone #itsameditation #zazen #selfcare #selfcareisessential #zenandtheartof #drinkinganddrawing #wenttoschoolforthis #sketch #cartoon #surreal #surrealism #greyscale #charcoaldrawing #sponsorswelcome #saturdaydoodlesanddrinks
